Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize