I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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