doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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