Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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