My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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