He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
