I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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