We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
