Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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