you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
