We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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