she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
