Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
