You work out of a Hotel?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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