the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
