Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
