Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
