Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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