How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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