ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
