Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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