Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
