I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
