Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
