Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So squirting runs in the family.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize