We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We had sex on a dog bed..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
