I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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