I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
