people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
