Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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