There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
