So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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