Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
