He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Of course I have a pirate flag
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
