i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
