Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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