I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just cut my nipple shaving
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
