is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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