so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
