oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
