I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
