You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
