im about as happy as oj after his trial
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
