I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
