I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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