found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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