And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize