the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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