I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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