he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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