Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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