He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
