Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
