What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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