real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
