so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
