Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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