I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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