Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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