actually, I'm a sock model
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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