I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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