yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
as a side note pls kill me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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