I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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