just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
