So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
