I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
