I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
