I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
