No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
