You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
